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12 Types of Consultants You Will Meet

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1. Old school: Back in their day you brought your own body to dissections and exams were a viva to the death.

 

2. Over it: Tired, disillusioned or close to retirement whether you turn up or not causes no disturbance in the force for them

 

3. The questioner: Read every book, textbook and journal article before stepping onto their ward round!

 

4. The chill: Want to waltz in at 10am to an 8am ward round? Haven’t got a patient to present? It’s all gooood-just chill!

 

5. The inspiration: Genuinely passionate, an excellent teacher and clinician. The kind of doctor you can look up to!

 

6. The no-show: Houdini would be proud because although you’ve heard of them, they have yet to be seen in physical form in either clinic, theatre or ward round.

 

7. The teacher: With years of knowledge and experience sit back and let their teaching enlighten you

 

8. The BFF: Young, up and coming consultant who has been a student and understands the hardships!

 

9. The Prof: Makes even other consultants shake, he is the author of the book you are desperately trying to learn from

 

10. The get-involved: Thought you could hide in the background and just watch? Nope this appendicectomy has your name on it

 

11. The oblivious: Students are there to be seen but not heard

 

12. The Sauron: All doctors, registrars, juniors, students, patients, elves and orcs must be under their control

 

LISTS

9 Medical Terms You Can Use Everyday To Sound Smarter 🤓

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1. Why sneeze when you can sternutate instead?

 

2. Heavy night last night? Why not tell your consultant you have veisalgia instead of saying you have a hangover?

 

3. Have you got a rumbling tummy? Surely you mean borborygmus?

 

4. Why have goosebumps when you can have horripilation instead!

 

5. Ate too much ice cream again? Do you have an ice cream headache or sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia?

 

6. Do your armpits smell foul? Go buy some deodorant to cover up your hircus!

 

7. That medical student who has been to one too many sports nights – a diagnosis of faecal encephalopathy seems appropriate!

 

8. You know when that random relative asks for a specific diagnosis for their vague sounding arm pain? Intermittent idiopathic myalgia will do nicely!

 

9. Is your nose running because you put too much hot sauce on your food? It seems like you have a case of gustatory rhinitis!

 

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LISTS

10 Types of Medical Students During Exams

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1. The genius! No notes, no papers, no pens….just listens and absorbs

 

2. The note-taker: Extensive file upon file of meticulous notes that Hermione Granger would be proud of!

 

3. The old school: Quill and parchment paper!

 

4. The techie: A minimum of Macbook, iPad, iPhone and second Macbook are needed in every lecture!

 

5. The recorder: Dictaphone and phone recordings more extensive than the CIA and FBI!

 

6. The non-attender: Works from home with a cup of coffee and Netflix breaks!

 

7. The librarian: Can be found without fail and has their own reserved table!

 

8. The mind-map: Beautiful drawings of every topic with colour co-ordination!

 

9. The list-maker: Alphabetic lists with every possible differential and treatment plan

 

10. The questioner: Question and answers are the way forward!

 

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LISTS

12 Things You Do On Your First GP Attachment

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1. Your GP practice can range from looking like a normal house…

 

2. …to the size of a mini-hospital!

 

3. History, examination and diagnosis all in 10 mins???

 

4. No more paper notes! Everything is computer logged!

 

5. Any patient can walk through the door from little kids…

 

6. …Young adults…

 

7. …and the elderly!

 

8. GPs are true multi-taskers and cover all specialties in all patients!

 

9. Some GPs have specialist interests like minor surgery

 

10. GPs can treat a patient there and then…

 

11. …refer to the hospital for a specialist…

 

12. …or in emergencies send straight to the emergency department

 

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