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13 Things That Happen On Your First Surgical Ward Round

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1. It feels like doing a ward round with Dr House

 

2. You feel like you need an operation every time the consultant asks you a
question…

 

3. …and even though you read the chapter on surgery 6 times…

 

4. …you still can’t think of any causes for abdominal pain!

 

5. Laparoscopic surgery seems like a cool video game you could play…

 

6. …and colonoscopy a much less fun game!

 

7. It seems like every single patient gets a PR examination

 

8. Finding patients to examine with a hernia is like looking for gold dust…

 

9. …and when you do find one, you’re queuing behind half the medical
school!

 

10. Surgical scars can tell you almost everything you need to know about
your patient…

 

11. …from transplants, appendicectomies and cholecystectomy all scars tell a
story!

 

12. The medical ward round is so much longer than the surgical round!

 

13. By the time the medics finish you’ve already had your morning coffee,
elevenses and are ready to step into theatres!

 

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9 Medical Terms You Can Use Everyday To Sound Smarter 🤓

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1. Why sneeze when you can sternutate instead?

 

2. Heavy night last night? Why not tell your consultant you have veisalgia instead of saying you have a hangover?

 

3. Have you got a rumbling tummy? Surely you mean borborygmus?

 

4. Why have goosebumps when you can have horripilation instead!

 

5. Ate too much ice cream again? Do you have an ice cream headache or sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia?

 

6. Do your armpits smell foul? Go buy some deodorant to cover up your hircus!

 

7. That medical student who has been to one too many sports nights – a diagnosis of faecal encephalopathy seems appropriate!

 

8. You know when that random relative asks for a specific diagnosis for their vague sounding arm pain? Intermittent idiopathic myalgia will do nicely!

 

9. Is your nose running because you put too much hot sauce on your food? It seems like you have a case of gustatory rhinitis!

 

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LISTS

10 Types of Medical Students During Exams

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1. The genius! No notes, no papers, no pens….just listens and absorbs

 

2. The note-taker: Extensive file upon file of meticulous notes that Hermione Granger would be proud of!

 

3. The old school: Quill and parchment paper!

 

4. The techie: A minimum of Macbook, iPad, iPhone and second Macbook are needed in every lecture!

 

5. The recorder: Dictaphone and phone recordings more extensive than the CIA and FBI!

 

6. The non-attender: Works from home with a cup of coffee and Netflix breaks!

 

7. The librarian: Can be found without fail and has their own reserved table!

 

8. The mind-map: Beautiful drawings of every topic with colour co-ordination!

 

9. The list-maker: Alphabetic lists with every possible differential and treatment plan

 

10. The questioner: Question and answers are the way forward!

 

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LISTS

12 Things You Do On Your First GP Attachment

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1. Your GP practice can range from looking like a normal house…

 

2. …to the size of a mini-hospital!

 

3. History, examination and diagnosis all in 10 mins???

 

4. No more paper notes! Everything is computer logged!

 

5. Any patient can walk through the door from little kids…

 

6. …Young adults…

 

7. …and the elderly!

 

8. GPs are true multi-taskers and cover all specialties in all patients!

 

9. Some GPs have specialist interests like minor surgery

 

10. GPs can treat a patient there and then…

 

11. …refer to the hospital for a specialist…

 

12. …or in emergencies send straight to the emergency department

 

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